The Unwritten Rules of Love, Access and Success (iQ2)

Crown Jewel


○ ○ ○The artwork above is hyperlinked. Linked to a Psychology Today publication by adolescent,

child, couples and family therapist, Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein. Sadly, over a decade of blogging

experience tells me the average reader will miss it. And Bertrand Russell knew why. “Most

people”, he contended, “would rather die than think; in fact, they do...”. Let's make it

a bit more relevant. Most would rather escape to the next funny or cute image. Or, skim

an article or head straight to the comments section & add their two cents worth rather

than invest the time to read, checkout links or videos illuminating an issue. And what,

you ask, is the problem with that? By not making an earnest effort to understand you

end up frustrating, or worse, diminishing yourself. How? Because that opinion you

impulsively hurled at the debate in fact adds no value. “Opinions can be valuable

when they are put to good use — such as the opinion that we'd rather make our

loved ones feel better, not worse.” Empathy and/or Emotional Intelligence,

has nothing to do with being nice. Nobody tells you but ultimately, trust is

built, often, the same way love is: because people feel, somebody trusts

that one understands where they're coming from, what they're trying to

achieve and critically, how all that ties in with their unique life story.

Without deviating into a discussion about Risk Management and who

does it best/why, suffice it to say the best financial institutions are

successful because, among other things, they have a longstanding

tradition and reputation of not breaching the trust imputed to

them. Remember Mitt Romney's “blind trust” alibi? Implicit in

the glue that holds most intimate relationships—very broadly

defined here—is the understanding that one is allowed into

a circle to participate, work, share, serve and/or to love

by demonstrating understanding. That's the authenticity

premium: What you say and do matters. Kahlil Gibran

rightly said: “Work is love made visible. And if you

can't work with love...only with distaste,...better

that you...leave your work and sit at the gate of

the temple and take alms from those working,

with earnest joy and effort. As addressed in a

recent blog, going through the motions try

-ing to categorize things & people instead

of immersing oneself, holds many back.

I recently had to copy & paste portions

of another blog to educate a reader,

that visitors of MIT & several other

websites treat the experience not

as a menu or waitress but rather

a growth opportunity. If one's

citing Proverbs 16:22 as part

of a logical argument & you

are focused on labeling it

a preachy encounter, it

is similar to being un-

skilled in the Art of

Asking. A genuine

& diligent effort

to understand,

in many cases

prevents di-

vorce, and


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The Unwritten Rules of Love, Access and Success

(Original Iteration) (Follow the Dove)


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