This thing I have is basic impatience and worry; sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat worrying that I may have picked the wrong career. I don’t have a pension scheme, so do I invent a Ponzi scheme instead? No…I don’t do that, its evil. I may never be famous and rich, but I get to do what I love and that’s comedy and writing.

I worked for fifteen years in a skanky bar in the East End of Glasgow and thought it was the best I could do, now I get to travel all over the place being funny and getting paid for talking (something I was ridiculed for in the past- I do mean talking- not getting paid for it!) anyway I love doing what I do.

I just worry I am getting too old and have decided to make myself poor, lonely and sick and live in Paris and become a bohemian writer. I will write stories about a woman who takes a younger lover, smokes too much and stares out of windows thinking about art. Or maybe I wont do any of that, fuck Paris I am off to the festival in Edinburgh that will eat enough of my cash and possibly destroy my soul BUT I will be destroyed financially doing something I truly love. Like the man who was convinced he could invent a perpetual motion machine despite physics proving it can’t be done and scientists mocking him, he made a thing with an elastic band and two lolly sticks – ok that never happened but imagine it did and the man made himself poor and exhausted just by proving people wrong THAT is my point people! Confused? Me too.

I think I am sleep deprived and rambling what do you think?

Ashley and I did a podcast today. You would think after all the technology invented and the sheer amount of podcasts out there it was as easy as pissing on a priest, but its not….the bloody thing took ages to edit. Either we need to be less offensive, stop naming people and their personal gossip or learn to deal with an editing suite and shut up moaning about it. Ashley says some outrageous stuff when a microphone is at her mouth, which is not really a worry but we are doing a kids show together at the Fringe! (Worry not parents I am JOKING).

The podcast was good fun, she makes me laugh and I believe that’s important enough for me to expect other people to want to hear it and why not?
The link will be up on ITunes as soon as it generates it or whatever ITunes do to register your podcast, keep an eye on my website to check if it is up there soon.

Last night I dreamt I was a giraffe and was eating roof tiles from my dad’s garden hut, two pigeons pecked at my eyes. I woke up with a sore neck, am not kidding! You maybe slightly concerned that by reading this I sound slightly mental, but I just haven’t been sleeping well and my brain is a bit like a bag that’s left outside a charity shop and smells funny just now, still thought I would share my madness with you.

I may go to New York and be one of those old women who used to disco dance and hangs around old clubs talking about the ‘old days of disco’ whilst sprinkling crushed valium on my coffee and sniggering at happy couples. Or I may now go to bed as I have to get up and go to Leeds and be funny for people who paid to hear me talk funny…who knows what will happen on the train?

The podcast will be out soon….hope you like it people…good night.

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Comment by gajanan gurjarpadhye on July 16, 2010 at 5:02am
Something that is akin to stream of conciousness type of writing.This is the impression I got when I read this piece.but I liked it all the same


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