I have found myself.

There are drawings that I've done that I like. However, there are a larger amount that I'm vastly displeased with. Others see talent there. But I always feel that something's missing. I fell that the drawing needs to be more. For the longest time I couldn't figure out what that was. I felt that I was somehow a failure, even while doing some of the drawings I have posted on here.

Most people seem to feel that it's a self-esteem issue. I am constantly told I need to believe in my work. Believe in my own abilities to draw. I know they're right. But it's more than what they think. The reason I'm so hard on myself is because I know I can do better.

I've been practicing new techniques lately. Different ways to make a drawing more realistic. I'm learning to add even more detail. This is something that I've always been afraid to do. Afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it. I don't know where this fear comes from. Though it is what has held me back.

This drawing I'm working on has broken me out of whatever shell I was hiding in. The level of detail that I'm finding I can do...I feel as though I found a piece of myself that I didn't know I had. I feel so good about the drawing. I am rarely this pleased. I'm almost afraid to continue forward. I'm worried that I'll mess it up. I keep on telling myself that I'll do fine. Just don't rush.

Even still, I'm also having fun. I was drawing for a good portion of yesterday and today. I took breaks to do stuff with the kids or go visit family. But for the most part I was drawing. And I can't wait to draw more tomorrow.

I truly feel as though a piece of myself had been missing until now. It's a beautiful thing to find yourself.