I recently took a call from a woman who routinely calls me for advice.
Professionally, I'm not in the position to disclose details. But I can say this: All she had to do when she got a potentially life-changing offer was truthfully say: I can't afford a plane ticket right now.
Strategically, almost everything was lined up in her favor, the only requirement being an open mind.
Conceivably, an admission would have created opportunities for financial support. And what if didn't?
If it didn't, she could sleep better knowing she tried, leaving no stone unturned.
Instead, I got a line I regret to admit sometimes leads to call terminations: “I can't do that.”This is a woman who needs all the help she can get yet refuses to ask, always holding herself, career and everyone around her hostage to the consequences of a “can't do this, can't do that” mindset.
Indeed apart from the stress, adversity and anxiety resulting from denying oneself opportunities others happily seize and optimize to attain financial freedom, you can destroy or negatively impact the destiny of loved ones needlessly with such obstinate weak-mindedness atop a habit of scarcity.
This is why we have brain drain; why economic progress, human development, stability and success hates rigidity. So like China, if you're going to repress people, you better have a vibrant selling point.
China's much-lauded economic miracle both at home and abroad particularly in Africa — where unanimously, Africans are confirming China's reputation for getting things done — is based, ironically, given its political system, on flexibility, —the art of Resilience. Or creative problem solving.
Truly successful vibrant people especially love autonomy, adaptability, flexibility, open-mindedness; even, responsible spontaneity. And all the stability and predictability that comes with it.
They embrace vulnerability or chaos because they recognize it for the growth opportunity it presents.
They're always thinking options. Many many options, while others remain stuck in a “this is the way it is” rut. In America, it is partisan gridlock and point-scoring. In Africa, it's 24/7 on-air bickering, bloviation or clash of self-centered often corrupt big egos negligent of the national interest.Creative Chinese problem solving meanwhile, gets things done because their collectivistic culture — which includes a certain harmless contentment and attitude that — caters to relationship-building and the task at hand. Too esoteric for those who don't know China like the author? Try this: At an individual level, you see the same disposition in Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer. See his videos. Revisit this article. And ethical or not, one can't help but admire Chinese ingenuity and tenacity.
Successful people who aren't rigid, engage. They ask questions, seek favors and build bridges. Not stay in their shell. And like everything the late Dr. Wayne Dyer says here (in the feature), they bring a spirit of abundance and opportunity, where others see scarcity, dead-ends and tension.
I remember debunking a tweet by a “entrepreneur” lamenting the unavailability of dates for entrepreneurs. The person 'liked' my tweet. But no one retweeting or liking his tweet, including the OP himself, ever bothered to ask me how I attract good people who happen to be (good-looking) women, rather than concern myself with “finding dates” wherever in the world I go.
If you want to see great CEOs and entrepreneurs at work embodying everything the late Dr. Dyer is saying here — and I suggest you replay it often — see: CEOs As Chief Enablement Officers.
If you want to continue setting yourself up for success, take these powerful thoughts to heart:
What then are the benefits of being mentally flexible? Imagine a storm brewing. Intense winds are blowing hard. Stiff trees are breaking under the pressure while softer more flexible trees are bending and will rise again when the strong winds subside. Now turn this image onto human beings. People who are narrow minded, opinionated, stubborn and bullheaded are more likely to crack under pressure than people who take up a more flexible attitude towards life. It is the difference between bending and breaking under pressure.
Not wanting to change, constantly fighting change, and being afraid of change; these are all extremely stressful mental dispositions, because let’s face it – change happens! Learn to embrace change, flow with change and even proactively make changes. Indian traveling yogis never stay in one spot for very long to remind themselves of the transient nature of the world. The modern yogi need not necessarily do the same, but just be aware of this natural tendency of change and flow with it—and that will make life a lot less stressful. ―Gudjon Bergmann, Living in the Spirit of Yoga
Few minds are spacious; few even have an empty place in them or can offer some vacant point. Almost all have narrow capacities and are filled by some knowledge that blocks them up. What a torture to talk to filled heads, that allow nothing from the outside to enter them! A good mind, in order to enjoy itself and allow itself to enjoy others, always keeps itself larger than its own thoughts. And in order to do this, these thoughts must be given a pliant form, must be easily folded and unfolded, so that they are capable, finally, of maintaining a natural flexibility.
All those short-sighted minds see clearly within their little ideas and see nothing in those of others; they are like those bad eyes that see from close range what is obscure and cannot perceive what is clear from afar. Night minds, minds of darkness. ―Joseph Joubert, The Notebooks of Joseph Joubert
Gracefully and gratefully accept the changes in our lives as casually and flexibly like a butterfly does...Have the capacity to adapt to change, it's your healthy growth, intelligently and emotionally. Our life can be full of extrinsic surprises, your flexibility is a key when you accept changes. ―Angelica HopesFor a flexible person, it is impossible not to reach his destination, because by using his ability to be flexible, he can easily define a nearer new destination!
Don’t ever rule out the option of U-turn in your life, because one day you will need it! The moment you realize that you are going to the wrong direction, turn to the right direction instantly, with a beautiful U-turn! ―Mehmet Murat Ildan
More broadly, resilient systems fail gracefully—they employ strategies for avoiding dangerous circumstances, detecting intrusions, minimizing and isolating component damage, diversifying the resources they consume, operating in a reduced state if necessary, and self-organizing to heal in the wake of a breach. No such system is ever perfect...A seemingly perfect system is often the most fragile, while a dynamic system subject to occasional failure, can be the most robust. Resilience is, like life itself, messy, imperfect, and inefficient. But it survives. ―Andrew Zolli & Ann Marie Healy, Resilience: Why Things Bounce Back
If you’re not stubborn, you’ll give up on experiments too soon. And if you’re not flexible, you’ll pound your head against the wall and you won’t see a different solution to a problem you’re trying to solve. ―Jeff Bezos
Anxiety, Depression & Stress (Resource Series 7)